Excuses are to life as linemen are to the offense. Confusing enough for you? In more plain terms, the more excuses you give yourself, the greater the opposition you create for yourself becomes. Let’s say the end zone represents your goal and you really want to get there. For some reason, many of us create excuses for not doing something and place them on the “defensive line” between where we are and our goal.
Feelings are simply indicators that let us know when we are in alignment with who we truly are and when we are not. This is important because so many people bypass these clues or judge themselves for having them and miss out on an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of who they are or to make a change for their personal benefit.
I’m sure we all made the “Life isn’t fair!” declaration at some point in our lives, but have you ever dug deeper? I worked with a client once who experience what she perceived as consistent disappointments in many areas of her life and she just couldn’t wrap her mind around why life seemed so unfair.
We’re all familiar with the bumpers at the bowling alley which are typically put up for children. Bumpers are such a big deal in bowling because they safeguard against failure—a gutter ball—by keeping the ball on track to where it’s intended to go. But think about how our actions to take control of our lives are no different than the ball we roll down the alley. Sometimes our actions are launched and reach the goal and sometimes they get us in the gutter because we allowed ourselves to get distracted or discouraged.
Part of taking control of your life is establishing a clear vision for where you want to go. It’s not enough to say, “I want to be successful”, “I want to be happy” or “I want more money”. Develop a vision so clear about what you want your life to look like that you can replay it in your mind like a movie. Know exactly what it is you want and then develop and stick to a solid action plan that you believe in.
I would actually pay cash money for the option to avoid traffic jams. I live in Chicago and remember taking the highway to and from work. Finding myself in a standstill where there are no lights or stop signs perplexed (and irritated) me greatly. Even as a child, I wondered how it was possible to be stopped or “jammed” if everyone is accelerating!
In the book Traffic, the author explains parallels between our personalities and how we are as drivers. This made a lot of sense. For instance, when I have a destination/goal and the route figured out, I want to get there and I despise any type of hindrance.